Aloft

Aloft by Chang-Rae Lee tells the tale of Jerry Battle who is occasionally physically aloft in his airplane but often personally aloft as he reviews his life: his wife, his mistress, his two children, his father, his jobs, his friends. This detachment unravels a humorous plot recounting loneliness, problems, and tragedy. The four generations of family reveal quirks and prompt sympathies. The light laughter covers up the pain; the underlying tension of family relationships creates a univerality of the human condition ranging from birth to marriage to death. These emotions are wrapped in a run-on style of writing. Sentences run on and lead to stories and memories which run on. The writing takes getting used to but eventually pulls you into the story.

Aging

There are no rules for growing old. Tracy Kidder suggested in his book Old Friends that in the last stage of life one continues to show the virtues and vices of a lifetime: leadership, activity, independence, whining, self-centeredness. Mom has turned 90 this month. She has gone from the height of celebration to the depth of illness in a short time. While bronchitis has not hospitalized her, it has threatened her equanimity. A month ago she felt strong and energetic; a week ago she was despondent and admitted to depression. She seems to be on the mend, and we have established an additional safety net: occasional visiting nurses, weigh-ins with Virginia, increased availability of Jackie and Betty for cleaning and chores, Meals-on-Wheels (if we get through the bureaucracy). She has lost weight and has been taking the wrong dose of medication. We'll see if we can get her back to feeling good. She seemed to perk up over the weekend. The evaluating nurse thought she looked wonderful. She bounded up the stairs to show her bedroom/bathroom and was cautioned to 'slow down'. She ate '3 squares' and seemed to regain some appetite. A little color returned to her cheeks. She napped and continues to need additional rest. Her change of situation has provided a good opportunity to project 30 years ahead and anticipate my own decline. Wills, living wills, financial management do not provide guidance as to helping in the decisionmaking process. It seems it is important to involve mom in decisions as long as she is able to make them, to explore options, and to continue to assess how she is doing. She has shown a pattern of resisting change and then accepting the suggestion: Lifeline, kitchen floor, Meals-on-Wheels. I am afraid her children have not managed her care as a team. Although one oversees financial decisions and another closely monitors the health care, we tend to rely on 'someone' else stepping in; it is easy for something to fall between the cracks. Perhaps the recent events will put on on better alert and improve our coordination.

July 4

The time between April and July has taken me across oceans to new worlds: Africa and Asia. We spent a month in Egypt and Jordan, seeing the Middle East through our eyes and ears. We listened to the muezzin several times a day and say the Muslims pray - in the streets, in the desert - men often wearing the mark on their heads developed from touching the ground repeatedly. We saw women apart - on the first car of the Cairo subway, in the front of the Aswan ferries, covered in scarves, sometimes even with veils over their eyes. We enjoyed the generosity and the cordiality of being a visitor in a new culture, overprotected by the security and invited to tea at every turn, welcomed as Americans. We indulged in amazing art and reached back into history in monments, temples, and tombs. We rode faluccas on the Nile and became accustomed to camels and donekys on the roadway. We camped in the White Desert under stars and surrounded by stalagmites of awesome beauty. We walked down into the ancient valley of Petra and wandered through modern Amman. We saw Midaq Alley and the salt cities of the desert. We dined on hummus and sipped khakaday juice. We celebrated the sunshine, explored the oasis, and swam in the Red Sea. What an adventure!